Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
