I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
