my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
