you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
