Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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