So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
