I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
