so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
