Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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