Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
