We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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