oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
