Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
