let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
