Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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