Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
