yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
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