i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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