He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
