oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
