I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
