I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
