I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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