You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
