ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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