Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
