I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
That accounts for only three of the penises
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
