I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
