i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
