Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
