That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
