I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
