Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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