I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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