she was so not down for the gang bang
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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