I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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