butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
