Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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