it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
