Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He better not be in your backpack
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
