I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
