Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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