I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
