You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
