her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
