Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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