Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
