Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
