I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
