Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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