Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
